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i plan to leave Brunei.. want to study abroad.. tinggal aku cakap yes or no sajaa.. hmmph!

24/2/2011 national day / fishing

i woke up early today... and aku mimpi lagi ;( ive been having the same dream for 3 consecutive days.. huh ok lupakan saja psl mimpi atu.. i went fishing di pantai serasa. planed banarnya kan liat futsal college ku tp .. aku kan bakas langar kereta.. mana jua kana suruh bawa kereta dulu jauh2 == haha.. i had so much fun today walau tah hati ku ne sakit masih! == tex ku nda kana reply.. aku ne mcm kana buat sampah saja rasa ku ;( aku banar2 buntu ey nda ku tau cana kan pujuk urang ani.. and fyrah sikit lagi kan menyamal ;( psl aku inda bgitau sal aku accident atu arah ea. aku bgitau z dulu.. she gets me wrong ;( ea ckap z tah pulang kau bgitau dulu aku inda.. aku nda mau ea worry banarnya T.T .. baik jua ea faham..~~~~~~~~ and hari ani jua aku reactived Fb ku.. cos i know deactived wont solve problem.. rupanya ramai jua urg sadar aku deatived kir ku bestfriends ku saja Hahahaahah ==

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In love with Brandon flowers ( the killers )

His smile makes my heart melt! arghhhhh!!!brandon flowers can i just marry you? lol

23/2/2011 bad day bad day! =(

had a bad day today! arghh sial banar! =( mula2 aku dpt mimpi aku bebaik sama kawan ku.. nagis2 dalam mimpi pikir tah banar ;(.. kali aku trus msg ea sal rindu p aku tau ea nda kan balas.. kali aku cakap ani last msg ku ne.. aku tau ea nda kan layan aku lagi.. This was maybe the beginning of my bad luck.. nyasal ku ckp mcm atu ;(..I continued to sleep, after that I got a phone call from my uncle, who said dat my granny is in hospital.. ea sakit lagi ;( i was shocked den aku call mama.. it took 1hr kan tidur balik.. sal mcm2 ku pikir sal nenek ku sal kawan ku ;( .. i dont want to lose her ( nenek) banar tah banar ;'( sudah tidur den aku tebagun sal ayai texted aku minta tulung ambi ea di skulah sal ea sakit parut. tpi kreta ku babah pakai.. aku pakai lah kereta Kia.. parking nya lagi sampit. sal kana simpan dkat kadai thailand.. kali masa keluar kan kereta atu aku terlangar tiang.. habis picak sama scratch banyak ;(.. tkut ku bagitau parens ku.. smpai aku inda makan seharian..kali aku msg mama... balik rumah nasib jua mama inda marah. babah pun inda marah.. tpi hari ne aku disuruh jaga rumah.. yg lain kehspital ;( sal kaka alum balik..mama ckap suruh jaga bawah dngar2 kaka balik..so aku tunggu lah smpai kaka balik..aku pikir tah kaka balik dlam kul 6-7 sekali ku tunggu smpai kul 10 == alum bah ku makan tunggu2 ea..den i asked biah to tex my mom.. sal ku nada credt hehe.. kali mama called aku .. rupanya kaka ke GYM! == SHITOS! kelaparan hantap ku..! ku truskan saja tunggu parens ku balik trus babah tnya *kau mau makan apa?* mula2 mls ku kan makan kira menyamal dah prut ah tpp sakit haha.. kali babah bali kan ayam penyet YA ALLAH.. nyamann batah dah ku inda makan nasi haha.. tp ku tukar nasi nya sama nasi kebun mama ku ;D hehe.. mula2 babah salah ambil.. mula2 dlmnya nasi goreng.. heran ku ayam penyet tapi nasi goreng hahah. rupanya atu nasi tukang masak sana.ea salah bagi hehee. baik jua ku nda makan...!! smbil makan aku smbil o9...kali aku nmpak kawan ku o9 ;( aku rindu ea banar2 aku nmpak ea o9 ah ;( kali aku sengaja apperof9 sal entah ah.. aku tau ea nda mau liat aku.. so aku biar kan aku aperof9. sudah ea nda o9 aku o9 balik. it hurts!!sakit banar rasanya.. i know this is what she wants.she hates me and doesnt want to talk to me.. shes like a guardian angel to me.now i lost her.. i feel alone now and feels like my life has lost direction.. i lost my bestfriend.. shes not just a bestfriend. shes like a sister to me.. i miss her so bad.. how i wish i never knew her.. i dont want she gets hurt because of me...................................................

its not easy to be a good friend

it is not easy to be a good friend. I have a problem where my two bestfriends who i really lovedd do not like each other.. where This A doesnt like this B . this A was angry at me after she found out dat This B is my bestfriend.. ;( This B asked me to not to leave her if this A asks me to! == iVE told her that i wont leave her!NEVER!! But then after we inboxing i tot things were goin well.. but argh! == she sent me a song that makes me sad and disappointed..and deactived her FB!tot that she would understand my situation.. sometimes i regret telling the truth ;'( This A wants to see me and asks me bout this B.. sometimes i feel that its safer to not to be friends to anyone but myself ;'(...I hate myself for this! yess! i cant solve this fucking problem! id rather die than choose between two of you..! please do understand me.. im not Strong enough to bear this burden... please?? ;(

hehe

theres this guy i really like a lot! I don’t know if it is love, ! hahah A***! a guy dat i love since i was in form 4 and .the reason why i went to school was him!!!!!!!!!!hehehe All i did in school was counting the time until the period is over so i can see him for some seconds and then go off to another class. i really miss him! i feel like crying now heheh..I started to stop loving him since I know he liked my sister and my best friend!!after all these yearsi thought i had move on but the feeling still remains!! i want to tell him ho i feel ,but im too afraid that he doesnt feel the same way as i do.. heheh Today is his birthday, I wanted to text him but AKU TAKUT.! =s hehehe.. i really miss him.!!

God why do I still love this guy? he’s with another woman now. I need help in order to move on with my life. I need closure…I atleast deserve That much from him! I think I’m going crazy. i need pray to help me get through this!! i know it sounds corny hehe but what everr =P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU =X

Chat sama afee

Wow just had a really good conversation with a best friend! sanggup wah ku minum coffeee padahal aku mengntuk banar! =P HAHA smpai ani ku nda dpt tidur T.T sal plan kan kan VC =p hahah.. tp nda jd..yata dulur saja urg berkinta atu hahaha..tpikan im wide awake and shes no trouble sleeping~ haha mcm lagu eyh ;P cana th ku kan tidur ne??? krg pagi lagi adiku minta dngakn begunting! T.T hehe

AKU SEDIH NDA JD CALL2 =( HAHAA